Contemplating running.

I can't believe I'm even writing about this. There was a point in my life when I saw running as...well, there was a point in my life that I didn't see running as anything at all. It wasn't in my realm of thought. At all. Even when I was at my "fittest" in college and early in my marriage, I stuck strictly to the elliptical; running was not an option. Ever.

So why did I even attempt to start running again after many failed attempts and after my apparent aversion to it?

Because I wanted to feel the accomplishment of trying something that I thought I couldn't do.

Anyone who knows me well knows that I do not like to step out of my comfort zone. I have my set way of doing things and rarely do I like to stray away from it. Running was definitely out of my comfort zone. Especially with the extra weight I'd been carrying around from both my pregnancies, I was afraid that people would see me and think, "Ha! Look at the fat girl running!" When I finally got over my mental obstacles, I went out and ran. This was January 2, 2009; my 31st birthday.

It was HARD at first. I could only run a minute at first...yes, a minute, no exaggerations. I would just go out and run until I felt like I would die, stop until recovery, then repeat. I contemplated doing the Couch to 5K again, but was afraid I'd get discouraged if I couldn't do the workouts that were required. I thought if I set the guidelines of my workouts according to how I felt, then it really wasn't a "failure" if I had to stop to walk, or if I had to walk for a bit longer before I started running again. So a lot of my earlier workouts involved a lot more walking then running.

Gradually, I built my endurance and went a little bit longer each time and now I can run 2 miles (or 25 minutes...yes I am slow) without stopping. I never thought I could do that...EVER! Its amazing to think that I could only run a minute when I first started. Sometimes I feel a surge of pride as I'm running...I did this all on my own!

And this may sound cheesy, but I feel like running has given me confidence in other things. I feel like I am a better wife and mom because I run. My outlook on life and mood has improved because I run. I entertained the idea of moving to Japan...and I think this is because I run. Before running, I don't think I would have even considered it, sadly enough. I feel like if I can run, I can do anything.

With that said, I think I'm going to go out for a run. :)